Is Toxic Perfectionism Sabotaging Your Success?
Are you someone who holds yourself to such a high standard that you never feel like you’re doing your best? If you do, you’re not alone—in a culture where hyper-productivity is intrinsically linked to success, it can feel like the bar is often set higher than what you can reach.
While there’s nothing wrong with holding yourself to a certain standard, your pursuit for success can turn toxic when perfectionism starts to creep in.
What Is Toxic Perfectionism?
Toxic perfectionism stems from a desire for excellence that leaves no room for error and causes an intense fear of failure. It can show up when you have a goal that you want to get ‘just right’. Chances are that in reaching any goal, you’ll make a mistake along the way. High achievers see mistakes and failures as small setbacks, but toxic perfectionists see them as flaws in their character that derail future success.
When you feel as though you’ve failed at something because it wasn’t ‘perfect’, you’ve now fallen into the self-fulfilling prophecy of toxic perfectionism. You start to think that you shouldn’t go for that promotion, or try out a new hobby, because if you’re not going to get it exactly right on the first try, then we even bother trying?
Toxic perfectionism can be directed at ourselves, how others see us, and how we see the world.
If you’ve ever thought, “I can’t be a perfectionist because I’m not good at anything,” you might be a toxic perfectionist.
What Are the Mental Health Impacts of Toxic Perfectionism?
When we strive for perfection, it often comes from a place of worrying about how others perceive us. This desire for external validation can be exhausting, and it often gets in the way of succeeding in ways that are personally meaningful to us.
When left untreated, toxic perfectionism can lead to several mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation.
Caring for our mental health is crucial to living our values and achieving our goals, making it all the more important to talk back to toxic perfectionism as soon as you notice it.
Toxic perfectionism steals the joy that comes from personal growth and accomplishments, and overshadows any attempts to learn from our setbacks.
What Are Some of the Signs of Toxic Perfectionism?
Toxic perfectionism can show up in different parts of our lives and affect us in a number of ways, but there are some common characteristics.
Do any of these toxic perfectionism traits sound like you?
Your self-worth is dependent on how others perceive your success
You procrastinate or abandon projects if you know they won’t be perfect
You’re unable to celebrate your achievements
You’re easily upset by constructive criticism
You avoid taking necessary risks out fear you will fail
Toxic perfectionism can lead a highly successful person to live in constant self-doubt and undermine their own potential.
How Do I Overcome My Toxic Perfectionism?
If you think that toxic perfectionism may be standing in the way of your success, Talkspace can set you up with a licensed therapist to discuss your goals and help you get your life back on track. Sign up today so you can learn to celebrate your achievements and make a plan for future growth.